The boy said he was hungry and wanted something “proper tasty”
And in these situations we can’t be hasty . . .
So I entered the kitchen to cook up a storm . . .
You know I’m a woman who indulges in food porn.
On this occasion we hankered for crunch, something cheesy and sleezy that packed a hell of a punch . . .
‘Nacho’ average snack . . .
Now, those of a delicate disposition stop right here, those for a penchant for gore . . . keep reading/listen for more . . .
It started as a ‘Hangry dream’ . . . what follows really sets the scene . . .
So as the dish starts taking shape, out comes the cheese, which I begin to grate . . .
With vigour and gusto!
Then whoops! My hand slips, finger straight down the grater . . .
Good bye knuckle . . . I’ll see you later!
In a fuss I stop the bleeding . . .
mustn’t grumble and best hurry, this boy needs feeding!
Then suddenly my finger burns like hell. Wowser! At this point I’m cursing like a sailor.
Fuckers! Those damn chillies! . . .
Should have washed my hands . . . I know what the drill is!
Injury aside . . .
Finally the food is ready, smells delish
The boys tucking in to his “proper tasty” dish . . .
Then suddenly he stops and pauses . . . there’s something on his tongue . . .
“Mum, I’m sorry like, but theres something weird in me tea”
I chortled . . . Ha!
“Son, it’s NACHO . . . it’s me!”
RAIN WITH A CHANCE OF SPEEDBALLS 